Well Being Program 7: Praying Better
Interactive Transcript
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Deepak: Well being is something we all
desire but staying healthy and feeling good
can be quite a challenge especially with the stresses
that pervade every aspect of our lives today.
eating healthfully are two essential steps to
well being. In this series you'll learn
about a third step, relaxation.
Not just sitting around but some specific activities
that trigger your bodies relaxation response.
You'll learn about the importance of deep relaxation
for reducing the harmful effects of stress
along with a series of easy to do relaxation
skills. And through our weekly questionnaire
you'll gain an awareness of how stress may be
affecting you.
and join us as we take the next step
to well being.
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technological, and secular society more
and more people are turning for insight to one or another
form of spiritual exploration.
Are we expressing a need for something
deeper to help us cope better with the stresses of today's
world? What part does spirituality play
in our overall sense of well being?
widest sense relates to the stresses of modern life.
This weeks questionnaire will help you evaluate your own
spiritual issues in relation to some of the deep human needs
addressed by religious insight and we'll see
how relaxation plays a role in enhancing our openness
to prayer, meditation, and spiritual experience.
Eli Bay, director of the
Relaxation Response Institute in Toronto is a
pioneer in the teaching of relaxation skills for stress
management.
pressures and rapid changes our religious
beliefs and philosophical world views often seem like
distant musings unrelated to the practical
necessities of life. Our attention is so narrowed
down by all the details that it's really hard to see the
larger picture. But in
periods of greatest stress, uncertainty,
crisis, suffering we instinctively turn--at least temporarily--
to whatever spiritual resources are available to
us; the familiar beliefs we grew up with or maybe even
a totally new philosophy.
stress at which point we realize our usual resources
are too limited, too inadequate,
to really deal with the situation as we face
it. Overwhelmed we're forced to give up our struggle and to
face the mystery of life squarely in the eye and in
that letting go we open ourselves up to new
possibilities and there's room for huge shifts in our
thinking and in our perceptions.
insights into the great issues to which religion has
addressed itself can take on a whole new meaning to
us but we can learn to relax and let go consciously
in such a way that helps us to access and enhance
our spiritual understanding through the
vehicles of meditation, prayer,
contemplation. Deep relaxation is
the foundation of much religious practice.
to God, to Jesus, and to the
Spirit prayer, the ability to
focus
inwardly itself is
a deterrent to
stress.
until you establish your prayer as a
Muslim. Whether you are at home, or work, or
you're traveling, or wherever you are
you are keen to have that
presence even for a short period of
time with God Almighty. Once you have
it you'll feel at ease.
mindful so in other words if you're not
aware--if you're not mindful
or even wasteful--that means
you are asleep spiritually speaking.
So that is the whole point so
when people become aware of
the stress or
unhappiness then that's kind of where we can help them
right there to become aware of
other things that are lacking in their
life.
whoever we are as human beings and
whatever we rely on as
God in our lives. I believe that we find
ways often
of closing out that potential, allowing
that life to become real in our lives.
Business,
accumulation of
competency, or wealth, or
things and we close ourselves to that
potential within us.
when I'm doing ministry with patients in hospitals or
when I'm working with my students and helping
them to learn to do ministry
my role is often to encourage that
person--or encourage the student to work with the person--
to find that base--that place--
and to own the fact that you are
powerless unless
you look outside of yourself. So it's that inner
looking--that inner
searching--
to recognize that you don't have all the resources
and all the answers within yourself and to
use that experience of God
caring and loving and supporting as a source of
strength or of dealing with stressful or difficult
situations in their lives.
--spiritually speaking--prayer to
satisfy your spiritual hunger. This is exactly
how prayer looks to us as Muslims
and there is a beautiful signal you do
once you enter into prayer.
You do this; just like this
and say "Allah Akbar" which means
God is Greatest.
important do you know why; it means I am
putting everything else behind
my back and I am concentrating on
one object--on one
thing--which is God and God alone.
And this in itself
starts the process of eliminating
worries. Why worry; if you have put all the
worries just behind your back
then this is the first important step and then you
start the prayer by "Allah Akbar"
God is Supreme. If God is supreme
to me and I believe
really that He is supreme then everything
else is minor.
it doesn't make any difference for the Muslim; wherever he
may be he has to concentrate
on prayer for a few moments. This is only
to fulfill the best
of the human being; to reactivate
him if you like, to give him
better potential.
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fall in love with truth or for holy
truth. The first of holy truth is
unhappiness, or pain,
dissatisfaction; it simply states
in life there is
pain, there is unhappiness,
and there is dissatisfaction. If
Buddha was alive today
in Canada or in the
West he
may say stress
is the first novel truth because
stress is so widespread
and everyone knows what is
stress.
actually I
wrote something and posted on the
door over there saying, "Stop
rushing!" Working people if they can
spend five
or ten minutes everyday
without worrying about
anything it's a healing.
It's kind of--if there is any miracle--that's a miracle if you can
sit quite and still for five
minutes without worrying about
anything. Lighting candles and
burning incense has a
very deep spiritual significance
particularly in relation to meditation
practice.
they have to burn themselves to
give out light--to
transform darkness into light--and they do so
in silence and so is meditation.
And incense too has to burn itself down
to ashes and it does so in
silence to diffuse fragrance.
There is no real difference
between personal transformation and
societal transformation; it's like lighting
candles you see. Once
you are lit then
it does not illuminate yourself but it
illuminates your neighborhood--your
environment.
to go back to the ways that I felt
ten or fifteen years ago.
I felt that those doors were closed because
I couldn't calm down enough even to
get into them or to appreciate them but I found
in the last few months that
the fullness that comes from
a religious spirituality is back with me
and I've started to attend
the synagogue and I haven't done that for a very long
time.
to explore a little more about what we mean by spirituality.
Is it about going to church, or is it
about going to yoga class?
about going to church although it may be
and it's not just about joining a yoga class although it may
be but basically it's about finding meaning and purpose in your life.
As we approach
the twentieth century science gave us all a
feeling of tremendous control
that science was able to predict and control and we had
certainly this feeling as we move through the century that
soon we would be able to control everything and that science
really had become the new religion.
this very same science has really made
us aware of how little we know. We see for example
in astronomy; astronomers are now telling us
that we are insignificant, that our sun
is an insignificant star in an insignificant
galaxy amongst hundreds of millions of galaxies
and that there is this infinite incomprehensible universe that we'll
never understand.
In brain research, in quantum physics we're understanding
we know very, very little and it's really
created a void for many of us and people
are searching. People are getting in touch
trying to find new meaning in their
lives and for many of us...
that there is a spiritual component that is very, very
important. What I'd like to do now is
take us through a questionnaire that sees how well our
spirituality is working for us.
for paper and pencil.
you don't have paper and pencil handy; just follow along with us,
answer yes or no to each of the questions as they come up. The
questions really are there to help you to examine how
your spirituality relates to your life. First question:
"You regularly take time to pray
or meditate to help restore your balance, clarity, and
commitment in daily life"; yes or no.
Do your spiritual practices nourish you?
Do you feel a sense of joy in your life? I mean it's even
recommenced or suggested that one way to
look at the level of ones spirituality--how
live it is--is to look at the level of joy in that persons
life. Do you feel renewed,
invigorated, restored by your spiritual
practices?
question assumes--I think--that
I have some sort of religious affiliation.
to have a specific religion to be spiritual; being
spiritual is really having a deeper awareness of what's going
on beyond the material
realm, beyond the day to day.
It's really the source of our true
joy that we've just been talking about and it's also
a source of strength that we can tap
into. Does that help?
questions--will help you to gain a little insight to what we are talking about.
Let's look at the next question:
"When traumatic events or tragedies occur,
your spiritual base helps you to cope. Yes or
no? All of us experience
unexpected tragedies and traumas in our life; I mean this can't really
be avoided it's just part of living. But do your
spiritual practices help you to cope?
important question that we as individuals should ask ourselves and
here was a man already in his latter years who spent
over forty years contemplating the nature of
light. He thought about the question and in response said, "You know I think
the most important question that we as individuals should ask ourselves
is whether or not we believe the
universe to be a friendly place." And it's
this assertion, this assumption, this
intuition really underlies all spiritual
traditions and really gives us our strength.
help you to overcome feelings of depression and despair
in the face of life and in the state of the world."
Yes or no.
Pick up a newspaper; environmental issues,
ozone layer depletion, global
warming. It's not just the macro issues that we're looking at
here of violence in our cities,
economic problems; there seems to be an ever growing
feeling of despair amongst large
numbers of people and certainly as we look to a future
that is very uncertain.
does not happen in a vacuum; it reflects back in our own
bodies, our stress levels rise, and
this despair can indeed contribute to
illness and just a general unhappiness
in life. Spiritual practices can break us out of the
despair, we can get in touch with greater clarity, we can
tend to become much more optimistic.
Spiritual energy can literally help us to
change from despair into
hope. Next question:
"Your spiritual and philosophical understanding
provides a deep sense of purpose and meaning to life."
Yes or no.
increasingly recognized that meaning is an important
component of well being. Victor Frankl
--a psychiatrist who had spent some time in a
concentration camp during WWII--tells of his own experience
of being in a camp and that the word had spread that
the camp was likely to be liberated by
Christmas--that the allies were advancing through Europe--and that by
Christmas they would be free so there was great anticipation
building up to Christmas.
went and they weren't liberated until mid
February but between Christmas day and February it seems
that over half the camp died and Dr. Frankl suggested
it was result of these people had just given up
feelings of meaning and purpose; they just gave up.
You find that that's also not an occurrence that's not
uncommon in many chronic cancer wards and it's really
important that we appreciate that meaning is
essential to well being. How well does your
spiritual practice help you
or keep you going through the thick and thin of things?
provide a basis that helps you identify
and pursue things that matter most to you."
Think about that. Is that true; yes
or no? Do your spiritual activities
help you to go beyond the superficial and the
mundane, do they help you to identify what's important in your
life? When we connect into our
spiritual purpose we can often connect into extraordinary
energy. Joseph Campbell's advice for
a life of well being; first of all know yourself
and then follow your bliss.
Let's look at the next question:
"Stressful events do not sway you from your commitment to your moral
and spiritual values." Is that true for
you; answer yes or no.
When choices are difficult do you do the right
thing?
self to maintain an even keel in a stressful world.
When we compromise our integrity we create additional
stress and we erode our sense of self along with
our sense of well being. Next question:
"You have little difficulty grasping
the deeper meaning of the words and teachings of your faith or personal
philosophy." Yes or
no. If your mind is all over the place
and unconcentrated and if you're worrying about feeding the
kids and getting your work done it's really very difficult
to focus on the deeper meaning of things.
"You do not have difficulty focusing full concentration
on and entering into the experiences of prayer,
worship or meditation."
Yes or no. We humans
have over fifty thousand thoughts a day the researchers tell
us; that's more than one thought per second for every second that
you're awake. You know we don't even notice this until we try to
focus our full concentration on specific activities such as
prayer. When our mind and our body are full of stress
and other similar concerns we really can't do justice
to our full spiritual potential.
You know many people thing that you are either asleep or you're
awake but really in fact there's a whole spectrum of states of
awareness that have been well understood and even categorized
by various traditions. To be effective
in your spiritual practice your mind and your
emotions really have to be quiet.
overly anxious when changing circumstances
force you to reassess your moral values and
even re-evaluate your personal world view."
Yes or no.
Change is part of our life; in the last years of the
twentieth century change is happening faster and faster, our
institutions are changing, our values are changing, our morals are
changing. Does your spiritual practice
or belief provide you with a sense of stability in the midst of
all these changes; yes or no?
handle of the spiritual side of my life than I obviously do because
well I only got a couple of yeses on this questionnaire.
probably didn't get too many yeses and we have to remember
we live in a secular culture. Very few of us
have a highly developed spirituality. The idea of this
test was really just to raise our awareness of the
spiritual component and it's relationship to well being.
fifty thousand thoughts a day; that really
speaks to me. I sometimes think I have a million thoughts a
minute.
a very simple exercise that can help you to
gain a little bit of control over the chattering mind?
moment to sit up straight but let me explain it first. I'm going to ask you
just to focus on your breathing--just normal breathing--
just watch the air coming in and going out and notice it cool as it comes
in and warm as it goes out. Just quite the mind
and then as you breath out--it's normal breathing; it's
not controlled breathing--normal breathing. You just
as you exhale you count one and you breath in and you exhale
again and count two, inhale-exhale three,
exhale four; so you are counting as you
breath out. One,
two, three,
four. Do you understand that?
the crunch comes after doing that for just a few
minutes I'm going to ask you to do the counting one to
four but every time you notice a thought or an image
coming into your mind that isn't directly related to the
one, to the three, to the four--any
extraneous thought or image--as soon as you notice it
go back down to one. So you're doing it and you're thinking
"Oh I'm going to make it to four"; back down to one.
Okay and to be really quite ruthless with
yourself. The idea is not to make it to
four but to catch the thoughts and go
right down to one.
fail?
of...I mean obviously the way the mind works we're going to
have lots and lots of thoughts and this exercise really
not only makes us aware of the chattering mind
but it also enables us to gain
a bit of control over it. Again I don't promise
great...I don't promise you're going to
walk on water at the end of doing
this but slowly and incrementally you can start to gain a bit of
control over the chattering mind.
Get comfortable in your chair, uncross your legs and arms,
relax your shoulders, and close your eyes.
For those of you at home you get much more out of this program by
actually doing the exercise with us rather than just watching
so follow along with us. Just observe
your breath; notice the air cool as it comes in and warm as it
goes out. This is a very good exercise to do
for a couple of minutes; it helps to quiet the
mind.
one, breath out two, breath out
three, breath out four and just do this
with full concentration.
Counting every time you
exhale.
After you do this for a few minutes
--again this further quiets the mind--then
begin the
process of counting but every time you notice a thought
or an image coming into your mind you go
back down to one. I'd really like you to be ruthless
with yourself; catch the thoughts and go back down to one.
What is important about this exercise is to
notice the thoughts and images and go right back down.
full concentration. If your mind
wanders off bring it back.
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Just normal breathing;
just watching the air coming in and going out
and counting. Noticing the thoughts;
you can do this for
five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen
minutes.
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Take a deep
breath, hold it,
let it go,
and very, very slowly--little bit by little
bit--just slowly, slowly, slowly open your
eyes.
count?
and when you notice that the mind has wondered off catch it and go right
back down to one. It's not unusual for that to
happen; the mind can sort of just wander off.
But the idea of this exercise it to help you stay focused; notice
when the mind wanders off--it will--but bring it right
back down.
all; how long should I normally do it?
if you can start off maybe five minutes or seven minutes
or eight minutes and then build to ten, fifteen,
twenty. Twenty minutes is an ideal period for any
relaxation and this is a very effective
tool that can not only help you to become aware
of the chatter in your mind and
I think that is a major awareness for people to have.
when I was made aware of that mental chatter that was
happening that I really wasn't even aware of. But this exercise is also
extremely effective in helping us to literally
turn off the stress in the body; it's a very effective
tool to help us to turn on the body's
relaxation response. And it is
interesting to realize that almost every major
spiritual tradition had developed some method
of accessing the body's relaxation
responses really as a prelude to meditation and prayer.
It provides the
form--the foundation--for
real in depth meditation and prayer.
Eli.
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desire but staying healthy and feeling good
can be quite a challenge especially with the stresses
that pervade every aspect of our lives today.
Everyone is aware that regular exercise and
eating healthfully are two essential steps to
well being. In this series you'll learn
about a third step, relaxation.
Not just sitting around but some specific activities
that trigger your bodies relaxation response.
You'll learn about the importance of deep relaxation
for reducing the harmful effects of stress
along with a series of easy to do relaxation
skills. And through our weekly questionnaire
you'll gain an awareness of how stress may be
affecting you.
So get a paper and pencil ready
and join us as we take the next step
to well being.
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In this fast paced,
technological, and secular society more
and more people are turning for insight to one or another
form of spiritual exploration.
Are we expressing a need for something
deeper to help us cope better with the stresses of today's
world? What part does spirituality play
in our overall sense of well being?
In this program we'll explore how religion in the
widest sense relates to the stresses of modern life.
This weeks questionnaire will help you evaluate your own
spiritual issues in relation to some of the deep human needs
addressed by religious insight and we'll see
how relaxation plays a role in enhancing our openness
to prayer, meditation, and spiritual experience.
Eli Bay, director of the
Relaxation Response Institute in Toronto is a
pioneer in the teaching of relaxation skills for stress
management.
Eli: In the rush of life with its
pressures and rapid changes our religious
beliefs and philosophical world views often seem like
distant musings unrelated to the practical
necessities of life. Our attention is so narrowed
down by all the details that it's really hard to see the
larger picture. But in
periods of greatest stress, uncertainty,
crisis, suffering we instinctively turn--at least temporarily--
to whatever spiritual resources are available to
us; the familiar beliefs we grew up with or maybe even
a totally new philosophy.
We reach a threshold of
stress at which point we realize our usual resources
are too limited, too inadequate,
to really deal with the situation as we face
it. Overwhelmed we're forced to give up our struggle and to
face the mystery of life squarely in the eye and in
that letting go we open ourselves up to new
possibilities and there's room for huge shifts in our
thinking and in our perceptions.
Suddenly the
insights into the great issues to which religion has
addressed itself can take on a whole new meaning to
us but we can learn to relax and let go consciously
in such a way that helps us to access and enhance
our spiritual understanding through the
vehicles of meditation, prayer,
contemplation. Deep relaxation is
the foundation of much religious practice.
Mary: Certainly in the Christian belief
to God, to Jesus, and to the
Spirit prayer, the ability to
focus
inwardly itself is
a deterrent to
stress.
Dr. Ashi: You are really restless
until you establish your prayer as a
Muslim. Whether you are at home, or work, or
you're traveling, or wherever you are
you are keen to have that
presence even for a short period of
time with God Almighty. Once you have
it you'll feel at ease.
Mr. Sunim: Buddha or Buddhism means being awake or being
mindful so in other words if you're not
aware--if you're not mindful
or even wasteful--that means
you are asleep spiritually speaking.
So that is the whole point so
when people become aware of
the stress or
unhappiness then that's kind of where we can help them
right there to become aware of
other things that are lacking in their
life.
Mary: I believe that the spirit of God is always alive in us
whoever we are as human beings and
whatever we rely on as
God in our lives. I believe that we find
ways often
of closing out that potential, allowing
that life to become real in our lives.
Business,
accumulation of
competency, or wealth, or
things and we close ourselves to that
potential within us.
And so
when I'm doing ministry with patients in hospitals or
when I'm working with my students and helping
them to learn to do ministry
my role is often to encourage that
person--or encourage the student to work with the person--
to find that base--that place--
and to own the fact that you are
powerless unless
you look outside of yourself. So it's that inner
looking--that inner
searching--
to recognize that you don't have all the resources
and all the answers within yourself and to
use that experience of God
caring and loving and supporting as a source of
strength or of dealing with stressful or difficult
situations in their lives.
Dr. Ashi: When you are hungry you will need
--spiritually speaking--prayer to
satisfy your spiritual hunger. This is exactly
how prayer looks to us as Muslims
and there is a beautiful signal you do
once you enter into prayer.
You do this; just like this
and say "Allah Akbar" which means
God is Greatest.
And this is very
important do you know why; it means I am
putting everything else behind
my back and I am concentrating on
one object--on one
thing--which is God and God alone.
And this in itself
starts the process of eliminating
worries. Why worry; if you have put all the
worries just behind your back
then this is the first important step and then you
start the prayer by "Allah Akbar"
God is Supreme. If God is supreme
to me and I believe
really that He is supreme then everything
else is minor.
So
it doesn't make any difference for the Muslim; wherever he
may be he has to concentrate
on prayer for a few moments. This is only
to fulfill the best
of the human being; to reactivate
him if you like, to give him
better potential.
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Mr. Sunim: In Buddhism we have
fall in love with truth or for holy
truth. The first of holy truth is
unhappiness, or pain,
dissatisfaction; it simply states
in life there is
pain, there is unhappiness,
and there is dissatisfaction. If
Buddha was alive today
in Canada or in the
West he
may say stress
is the first novel truth because
stress is so widespread
and everyone knows what is
stress.
So much so
actually I
wrote something and posted on the
door over there saying, "Stop
rushing!" Working people if they can
spend five
or ten minutes everyday
without worrying about
anything it's a healing.
It's kind of--if there is any miracle--that's a miracle if you can
sit quite and still for five
minutes without worrying about
anything. Lighting candles and
burning incense has a
very deep spiritual significance
particularly in relation to meditation
practice.
For instance candles
they have to burn themselves to
give out light--to
transform darkness into light--and they do so
in silence and so is meditation.
And incense too has to burn itself down
to ashes and it does so in
silence to diffuse fragrance.
There is no real difference
between personal transformation and
societal transformation; it's like lighting
candles you see. Once
you are lit then
it does not illuminate yourself but it
illuminates your neighborhood--your
environment.
Sheila: I think being relaxed has allowed me
to go back to the ways that I felt
ten or fifteen years ago.
I felt that those doors were closed because
I couldn't calm down enough even to
get into them or to appreciate them but I found
in the last few months that
the fullness that comes from
a religious spirituality is back with me
and I've started to attend
the synagogue and I haven't done that for a very long
time.
Deepak: Eli before we get into the self test I'd like
to explore a little more about what we mean by spirituality.
Is it about going to church, or is it
about going to yoga class?
Eli: Well it's not really
about going to church although it may be
and it's not just about joining a yoga class although it may
be but basically it's about finding meaning and purpose in your life.
As we approach
the twentieth century science gave us all a
feeling of tremendous control
that science was able to predict and control and we had
certainly this feeling as we move through the century that
soon we would be able to control everything and that science
really had become the new religion.
But as we approach the twenty first century
this very same science has really made
us aware of how little we know. We see for example
in astronomy; astronomers are now telling us
that we are insignificant, that our sun
is an insignificant star in an insignificant
galaxy amongst hundreds of millions of galaxies
and that there is this infinite incomprehensible universe that we'll
never understand.
In brain research, in quantum physics we're understanding
we know very, very little and it's really
created a void for many of us and people
are searching. People are getting in touch
trying to find new meaning in their
lives and for many of us...
So there has been an increasing awareness
that there is a spiritual component that is very, very
important. What I'd like to do now is
take us through a questionnaire that sees how well our
spirituality is working for us.
Deepak: So it's time
for paper and pencil.
Eli: Yes but don't worry if
you don't have paper and pencil handy; just follow along with us,
answer yes or no to each of the questions as they come up. The
questions really are there to help you to examine how
your spirituality relates to your life. First question:
"You regularly take time to pray
or meditate to help restore your balance, clarity, and
commitment in daily life"; yes or no.
Do your spiritual practices nourish you?
Do you feel a sense of joy in your life? I mean it's even
recommenced or suggested that one way to
look at the level of ones spirituality--how
live it is--is to look at the level of joy in that persons
life. Do you feel renewed,
invigorated, restored by your spiritual
practices?
Deepak: Eli can I interrupt? This
question assumes--I think--that
I have some sort of religious affiliation.
Eli: No you don't have
to have a specific religion to be spiritual; being
spiritual is really having a deeper awareness of what's going
on beyond the material
realm, beyond the day to day.
It's really the source of our true
joy that we've just been talking about and it's also
a source of strength that we can tap
into. Does that help?
Deepak: Well sort of.
Eli: Well will stay with us--I think the next few
questions--will help you to gain a little insight to what we are talking about.
Let's look at the next question:
"When traumatic events or tragedies occur,
your spiritual base helps you to cope. Yes or
no? All of us experience
unexpected tragedies and traumas in our life; I mean this can't really
be avoided it's just part of living. But do your
spiritual practices help you to cope?
Someone asked Albert Einstein what he thought was the most
important question that we as individuals should ask ourselves and
here was a man already in his latter years who spent
over forty years contemplating the nature of
light. He thought about the question and in response said, "You know I think
the most important question that we as individuals should ask ourselves
is whether or not we believe the
universe to be a friendly place." And it's
this assertion, this assumption, this
intuition really underlies all spiritual
traditions and really gives us our strength.
Next question: "Your spiritual practices
help you to overcome feelings of depression and despair
in the face of life and in the state of the world."
Yes or no.
Pick up a newspaper; environmental issues,
ozone layer depletion, global
warming. It's not just the macro issues that we're looking at
here of violence in our cities,
economic problems; there seems to be an ever growing
feeling of despair amongst large
numbers of people and certainly as we look to a future
that is very uncertain.
And this despair
does not happen in a vacuum; it reflects back in our own
bodies, our stress levels rise, and
this despair can indeed contribute to
illness and just a general unhappiness
in life. Spiritual practices can break us out of the
despair, we can get in touch with greater clarity, we can
tend to become much more optimistic.
Spiritual energy can literally help us to
change from despair into
hope. Next question:
"Your spiritual and philosophical understanding
provides a deep sense of purpose and meaning to life."
Yes or no.
It's being
increasingly recognized that meaning is an important
component of well being. Victor Frankl
--a psychiatrist who had spent some time in a
concentration camp during WWII--tells of his own experience
of being in a camp and that the word had spread that
the camp was likely to be liberated by
Christmas--that the allies were advancing through Europe--and that by
Christmas they would be free so there was great anticipation
building up to Christmas.
Well Christmas came and
went and they weren't liberated until mid
February but between Christmas day and February it seems
that over half the camp died and Dr. Frankl suggested
it was result of these people had just given up
feelings of meaning and purpose; they just gave up.
You find that that's also not an occurrence that's not
uncommon in many chronic cancer wards and it's really
important that we appreciate that meaning is
essential to well being. How well does your
spiritual practice help you
or keep you going through the thick and thin of things?
Next question: "Your spiritual activities
provide a basis that helps you identify
and pursue things that matter most to you."
Think about that. Is that true; yes
or no? Do your spiritual activities
help you to go beyond the superficial and the
mundane, do they help you to identify what's important in your
life? When we connect into our
spiritual purpose we can often connect into extraordinary
energy. Joseph Campbell's advice for
a life of well being; first of all know yourself
and then follow your bliss.
Let's look at the next question:
"Stressful events do not sway you from your commitment to your moral
and spiritual values." Is that true for
you; answer yes or no.
When choices are difficult do you do the right
thing?
It really takes a strong sense of
self to maintain an even keel in a stressful world.
When we compromise our integrity we create additional
stress and we erode our sense of self along with
our sense of well being. Next question:
"You have little difficulty grasping
the deeper meaning of the words and teachings of your faith or personal
philosophy." Yes or
no. If your mind is all over the place
and unconcentrated and if you're worrying about feeding the
kids and getting your work done it's really very difficult
to focus on the deeper meaning of things.
Next question:
"You do not have difficulty focusing full concentration
on and entering into the experiences of prayer,
worship or meditation."
Yes or no. We humans
have over fifty thousand thoughts a day the researchers tell
us; that's more than one thought per second for every second that
you're awake. You know we don't even notice this until we try to
focus our full concentration on specific activities such as
prayer. When our mind and our body are full of stress
and other similar concerns we really can't do justice
to our full spiritual potential.
You know many people thing that you are either asleep or you're
awake but really in fact there's a whole spectrum of states of
awareness that have been well understood and even categorized
by various traditions. To be effective
in your spiritual practice your mind and your
emotions really have to be quiet.
And now the last question: "You do not become
overly anxious when changing circumstances
force you to reassess your moral values and
even re-evaluate your personal world view."
Yes or no.
Change is part of our life; in the last years of the
twentieth century change is happening faster and faster, our
institutions are changing, our values are changing, our morals are
changing. Does your spiritual practice
or belief provide you with a sense of stability in the midst of
all these changes; yes or no?
Deepak: I thought I had a much better
handle of the spiritual side of my life than I obviously do because
well I only got a couple of yeses on this questionnaire.
Eli: Well I'm not surprised. I think most people
probably didn't get too many yeses and we have to remember
we live in a secular culture. Very few of us
have a highly developed spirituality. The idea of this
test was really just to raise our awareness of the
spiritual component and it's relationship to well being.
Deepak: There was one question where you asked about having
fifty thousand thoughts a day; that really
speaks to me. I sometimes think I have a million thoughts a
minute.
Eli: Well actually would you like me to share
a very simple exercise that can help you to
gain a little bit of control over the chattering mind?
Deepak: Sure.
Eli: Now the way the exercise works I'm going to ask you in a
moment to sit up straight but let me explain it first. I'm going to ask you
just to focus on your breathing--just normal breathing--
just watch the air coming in and going out and notice it cool as it comes
in and warm as it goes out. Just quite the mind
and then as you breath out--it's normal breathing; it's
not controlled breathing--normal breathing. You just
as you exhale you count one and you breath in and you exhale
again and count two, inhale-exhale three,
exhale four; so you are counting as you
breath out. One,
two, three,
four. Do you understand that?
Deepak: Yep.
Eli: However
the crunch comes after doing that for just a few
minutes I'm going to ask you to do the counting one to
four but every time you notice a thought or an image
coming into your mind that isn't directly related to the
one, to the three, to the four--any
extraneous thought or image--as soon as you notice it
go back down to one. So you're doing it and you're thinking
"Oh I'm going to make it to four"; back down to one.
Okay and to be really quite ruthless with
yourself. The idea is not to make it to
four but to catch the thoughts and go
right down to one.
Deepak: So you're setting up a test for me to
fail?
Eli: Well it's not a question of failing it's a question
of...I mean obviously the way the mind works we're going to
have lots and lots of thoughts and this exercise really
not only makes us aware of the chattering mind
but it also enables us to gain
a bit of control over it. Again I don't promise
great...I don't promise you're going to
walk on water at the end of doing
this but slowly and incrementally you can start to gain a bit of
control over the chattering mind.
So let's do it.
Get comfortable in your chair, uncross your legs and arms,
relax your shoulders, and close your eyes.
For those of you at home you get much more out of this program by
actually doing the exercise with us rather than just watching
so follow along with us. Just observe
your breath; notice the air cool as it comes in and warm as it
goes out. This is a very good exercise to do
for a couple of minutes; it helps to quiet the
mind.
Then begin the counting as you breath out;
one, breath out two, breath out
three, breath out four and just do this
with full concentration.
Counting every time you
exhale.
After you do this for a few minutes
--again this further quiets the mind--then
begin the
process of counting but every time you notice a thought
or an image coming into your mind you go
back down to one. I'd really like you to be ruthless
with yourself; catch the thoughts and go back down to one.
What is important about this exercise is to
notice the thoughts and images and go right back down.
Do this with
full concentration. If your mind
wanders off bring it back.
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Just normal breathing;
just watching the air coming in and going out
and counting. Noticing the thoughts;
you can do this for
five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen
minutes.
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Take a deep
breath, hold it,
let it go,
and very, very slowly--little bit by little
bit--just slowly, slowly, slowly open your
eyes.
Deepak: What happens if you forget to
count?
Eli: Well that sometimes happens
and when you notice that the mind has wondered off catch it and go right
back down to one. It's not unusual for that to
happen; the mind can sort of just wander off.
But the idea of this exercise it to help you stay focused; notice
when the mind wanders off--it will--but bring it right
back down.
Deepak: We didn't spend very much time on this exercise at
all; how long should I normally do it?
Eli: Well whatever feels comfortable but certainly
if you can start off maybe five minutes or seven minutes
or eight minutes and then build to ten, fifteen,
twenty. Twenty minutes is an ideal period for any
relaxation and this is a very effective
tool that can not only help you to become aware
of the chatter in your mind and
I think that is a major awareness for people to have.
I consider it to actually have been a turning point in my life
when I was made aware of that mental chatter that was
happening that I really wasn't even aware of. But this exercise is also
extremely effective in helping us to literally
turn off the stress in the body; it's a very effective
tool to help us to turn on the body's
relaxation response. And it is
interesting to realize that almost every major
spiritual tradition had developed some method
of accessing the body's relaxation
responses really as a prelude to meditation and prayer.
It provides the
form--the foundation--for
real in depth meditation and prayer.
Deepak: Thanks very much
Eli.
Eli: My pleasure.
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Program Length: 26:50 min
About the Program:
Program 7 Praying Better, explores the relationship between relaxation and your ability to access the profound dimensions of life addressed in religious, spiritual and philosophical teachings.